Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Positively Bubbling With Girlish Enthusiasm!

If you know me at all, you know I never come close to "bubbling," and as for "girlish enthusiasm," that's just pushing the irony beyond good taste.

Speaking of good taste, I hope not to show much of that here. If I do, please, call me on it.

And now, a little about me:

In fourth grade I announced I was either going to be a "dolphin trainer" or a "comic book artist." By seventh grade, I realized that neither of those were really proper job descriptions, at least not ones I could find in the books we looked at on career days. That should have been enough to push me into law or banking.

Life didn't begin for me until I had achieved that dream (not the dolphin trainer bit) and worked for DC Comics, Image, then WOTC on the D & D books, as well as doing some work for Lucasfilm.

I soon realized why I should have gone with "dolphin trainer," there just wasn't much dough in the comic artist gig. So, the logical choice: buy a tent (and a trailer) and become a Rennie. This literally meant living on campgrounds for months... sometimes in elaborate "tarpitechtures" I called home, and other times in a trailer. The highlight: spending 7 weeks in a trailer on a fairground in Connecticut... alone. Amazing. If you get the chance to live alone on a fairground in Connecticut in the fall for 7 weeks, go for it.

And once that little business failed, I was off to South Korea. And, for two years, where I enjoyed chronic sinus infections, cancer, a robbery in the Philippines, and death (though not my own.) Korean food sucked, but it was worth all the kimchi, squid, and red-hot twigs just to get to Thailand and the Philippines. There (in the Philippines) I accomplished 3 life dreams (one unmentionable here), and the other being getting my SCUBA diving license, and the third being swimming with a dolphin.

A little fact: never dive with Germans.

From there we travelled on to South America where we worked as illegal immigrants for the charlatans at the "Thomas Jefferson School" in Concepcion Chile. I won't name any names besides Magda and Gregory Trebz--something long and Polish--ski.

Then, back to America, land of Rye whiskey, boneheads, and far less opportunity than we found in second-world countries... oh, and NO freaking healthcare. I don't get how a person can be "pro-life" and anti national health in the same breath... and don't bother trying to justify it to me, because it's all bullshit. Unless you've had cancer here in the US as well as in a country with national health, I'm not going to have a lot of patience for whatever it is you've read or heard on Fox "News." In other words, if your anti-healthcare... blow me.

To get by, since being home, I have worked as a tutor for a kid with cerebral palsey, a carnie, and a toilet scrubber. Carnie-work being the shortest lived and most incredible of the experiences... and I may end up back out there over the summer.

Now, I am in school at the University of Akron, hoping that in 17 weeks I will no longer be obsolete.

Now that we're all up to date, I can pick things up from here...